The Dreamer

Why Men Are Fat?

2009-07-23T22:00:00.000-07:00

I have lost 52 pounds to date and have all kinds of thoughts rolling around in my mind like 'why didn't I do this sooner' and 'it is not as hard as I thought'. One idea has been begging me to become a blog post and since I have never heard anyone speculate about this it seemed like an interesting notion to roll out.

I have spoken with literally hundreds of men over the years who talk with heartbroken bitterness about how their spouses are seemingly never interested in any type of sexual intimacy. The story typically goes, we met, there were sparks, we did the "till death do us part" thing and is now seems like any physical interest in me was little more than a ploy to secure a mate (I could go on and on about how much of this I have heard and thoughts about it but must press on to my thought).

One of the side effects I have noticed in a pronounced way since losing a bunch of weight (and have heard many others talk about), is that desire/drive/libido skyrocket with increased fitness (enough about that...this is a PG blog ;-).

HERE IS MY THOUGHT: I wonder, on a subconscious level, if many men live at an unhealthy state, simply to numb their level of sexual desire and keep from feeling the intense pain of rejection with greater frequency.

Here's to leaning into health and seeing positive relational results come even if it is through pain.

Weight loss challenge...

2009-04-25T22:18:00.000-07:00

Almost three weeks ago now, I embarked on a weight loss challenge with a friend from church. The goal is to lose 40 pounds first and the challenge has incentives and penalties at various points along the way.

I spent the first two weeks doing nothing but juice fasting (drinking the juice of fresh fruits and vegetables and not eating any solid foods). Starting this third week I have been eating again, largely because I was at a conference and the logistics of continuing on would have been more difficult.

It is interesting how eating again, causes such a huge fluctuation, as this morning my scale told me I was at 27 pounds lost and tonight it said I was at 21...and while I drank tons of water I had not eaten that much and certainly nothing unhealthy (I bet/hope I am back to 26-27 again in the morning).

Let me say one more thing before I make a few observations...I know that the first thing I have to say could be extremely offensive...so please hear it through the lens of me speaking of only a glimpse and not of full understanding.

1. Ending My Fast Was Harder Than Keeping It! For my first meal I had a piece of grilled salmon, some green beans, some yellow beans, and some broccoli. I ate half the vegetables and two bites of salmon before I was stuffed. The black pepper used to season the vegetables burned on my tongue as it was surprised by spices it had usually taken for granted. Not only did I feel full and have a hard time eating (here is the potentially offensive thing) I also had a difficult time emotionally, and for the first time in my life understood why someone would choose the patterns of an eating disorder. After a few veggies I felt "fat" and would have preferred it out!

2. Keeping My Fast Was A Piece Of Cake! There were rough moments and even a rough day or two, but they had nothing to do with me being hungry or weak. Those moments were me being confronted with the reality that I was utterly addicted to the taste of food (and especially unhealthy food). The worst part of my fast was not the fast, it was the scores of people who have never done an extended fast telling me how dangerous and unhealthy my actions were (funny how the many I spoke with who have experienced extended fasting said no such thing). The one part of this that was huge motivation for me was one friend who fasts all 40 days each lent, telling me "the reason people think it is dangerous is because so few people in our culture truly understand sacrifice and giving something up". The entire second week I had tons of energy, amazing clarity and felt healthier than I have my entire adult life! Not only would I do this again I am planning to do an extended fast (one month) every year for the rest of my life as the physical and spiritual advantages I experienced in just two weeks were undeniable!

3. Now that I am done with this fasting phase of the challenge, the hard part is upon me! I am eating food again (and doing well with portion control, selection, and cooking method). I am also walking, running, swimming, cycling to try and live each day in a significantly different way. 98% of everything I now drink is pure, crisp, water. Funny how cutting everything out was easy and now adding only the right things back, and sustaining that, is the true test of how successful I will or will not be.

One final note for now...as much as I push against some of these changes, the benefits have been so good that my entire being wants to keep moving in this direction and not return (please remind me of this if you see me falling off the wagon). My feet don't hurt at the end of the day like they have for as long as I can remember. My knees no longer hurt. After only one week I could already start to see and feel changes in my body composition. And perhaps the coolest thing was while trying on some jeans I discovered that my, for what seems like forever, 42 waist was now a 38!

A new chapter begins...

2009-03-13T23:06:00.000-07:00

This Sunday, the congregation who owns the building we have been working to buy, is officially handing it off to us and moving into their new space. They have all their stuff out now, which makes the building feel empty yet so full of possibility!

Some things about this are frightening and certainly challenging, but more than anything, exciting!

We put up our new sign today...

Our Church...

2009-01-05T16:27:00.000-08:00

I have not blogged in quite some time...so I suppose this marks my quiet return.

Perhaps I have simply had to much else to do or perhaps, since my Dad was always asking when I was going to write something new for him to read, his death has made blogging more difficult.

A number of things created the "perfect storm" in my mind today and I just had to push through and post...

It is funny to me when people talk about the church as "my church". I suppose it makes sense from the standpoint of my role as a pastor, or for people who where part of the deep, founding pastor, but this concept misses the point.

I suppose there is an allure for some to like this...especially when the comment is something to the effect of "I really like 'your church' pastor". It is easy to see why something we help create and lead can boost our ego when it is doing well or well liked by others.

The thing that both sounds and is more powerful to me though is when people say "our church". Instead of an entity that is all about me and one that I am solely responsible for, there is power in a tribe of people banding together to do something great...and also the ability to accomplish that does not exist when everything is up to one human.

We have all heard stories about the evil side of this when a pastor gets chewed up by people who felt too much ownership in their church and would not allow the pastor to do their job. Even so, my heart is hungry for more people who will dive in and say that regardless of the hurdles or the journey this is "my church" and I am all in!

Two Perspectives

2008-06-25T12:44:00.000-07:00

Last weekend if you drove by one of our local parks you would have noticed a huge gathering of people!

We heard from a police officer that we should avoid that park and this entire area due to this gathering. He said that it was a gathering a two huge gangs from East Michigan, was nothing but trouble and that there are always "shots fired" when these folks are in town.

We have a family in the church who lives right beside this park and I was over at their house that day for a few minutes. It was fun to talk to this family who had been over at the park playing with their daughter earlier in the day. They were excited to see and even interact with all these people. They had nothing bad to say!

I want to be the kind of person who is redemptive, sees good and positive things in others regardless of information or situation.

Want To Grow Strong?

2008-04-17T09:23:00.000-07:00

I sat with someone yesterday who talked about wanting to grow strong spiritually with as much earnestness and desperation as I have seen in a very long time. I wanted with all my heart to wave a magic wand, pray a special prayer or take some other quick step and help them see significant immediate progress. We did talk and we did pray and our conversation sounded a lot like read with us in the bible, interact on our forums, pray, serve, connect with the community of people and over time you'll be amazed at how far you come and how strong you grow.

Two hours later I was driving with a friend of mine for our first real mountain bike ride of the year. I have been feeling good and riding my road bike a bunch (on flat paved surfaces) which I thought would really take the edge off of this thirteen mile hilly course. As you can guess I was wrong and about four miles in I started walking my bike up hills so that I would not kill my legs and would actually be able to finish the entire loop. I wanted to ride up all the hills and I wished with all my heart that I was in better shape and could fly through everything. I wanted to be able to wave some magic wand and "be there".

The truth is that my desire to be immediately in shape after far too much neglect for far too long is the same as people wanting spiritual strength quickly as well. You have to train and work and experience pain and keep pushing when you don't feel like it or think there has been any progress. Gaining strength is difficult! There is way more pain than people like to think or promote. I am looking for another immanent opportunity to hurt and feel like a totally out of place out of shape "wanna bee" because I know if I don't I'll never get there!

Having experienced physical fitness and strength and spiritual fitness and strength at various times throughout my life I must say that the price of the journey, while great, is worth every penny. Perhaps this journey for me physically will inspire me enough to maintain what I am achieving this time around instead of always starting from scratch...

Connection...

2008-03-30T15:55:00.000-07:00

Today (Sunday March 30th) was a great day for me as a pastor!

I was tired (I have been "getting in shape" and my body is in the "working hard but still not providing extra energy and in need of more rest to recover" phase). As such, my mental acuity was lacking and I didn't feel like my message was as sharp.

Add to that we had some new people and the district superintendent stopped in for a surprise visit, which was great (thanks Mark...always good to see you), but given that my message didn't feel as "on" today I almost had to chuckle at the irony (is this your sense of humor God? I am glad this is all about you and not me ;-).

So, why was this such a good day for me?

I watched people interact, talked to people and overheard a number of conversations that were all indicative of how people were growing, in fairly significant ways, in their connection to each other! I have always believed that a church is incredibly weak when most of the people only have one relational connection. In a church plant that just happens early on as everyone is new! Today however it was evident to me that people are really getting to know each other and enjoying this new spiritual family!

You can say that this is happening because of the growing number of people who come to our Tuesday lunch discussion group, because of the good friday experience we shared at the Duers', because of the various ways we have and are serving together, because people are taking the initiative themselves...and while all these things contribute to this reality the cool thing is that it is taking place!

God, connect us to each other and allow that connection cause us to know and experience you in even greater ways!

The dark side of church planting...

2008-03-19T01:11:00.000-07:00

**Context Alert**

I had a very long day and then stayed up most of the night working on some drywall as part of a home improvement (which means I am in an extremely tired state and spent the last number of hours alone with my thoughts and a 200 foot roll of paper tape). Also this week in general has been more reflective and even somber focussing in on the sacrifice of Jesus. To top it all off it was a dreary day so that didn't help either...

There are a number of dark sides to beginning a new church and there are many incredible things as well. I am amazed at how God brings and knits people together to accomplish the task in ways that are beyond human connection and comprehension. I have been blown away over the past months to see who God has brought to this journey and how I love walking hand and hand with these wonderful people, many of whom I did not know even six months ago.

Tonight however I started to think more about the courage and stamina it takes to endure the emotional toll of those who choose not to come along on the journey. I have had people look me in the eye and tell me God told them to be part of what we are doing who will not even answer or return my phone calls. There are people I was connected with this summer who I felt tremendous friendship with that have never even visited the deep. Myself and a number of other team members have incredibly close friends and even family members in this area who are not currently on this journey.

There is pain in knowing that people who you love deeply just aren't interested enough to put some skin in the game with you. It is not easy to see those who you thought would take the trip or even said they would take the trip disappear from the radar screen. No matter who is "in", there is still a measure of struggle in seeing those who are close and those who are family doing something separate.

Two things (beyond the significant and obvious wonderful people and families who are journeying with us) keep me going in moments of reflection like this...

1. My 71 year old Dad who reads along with us in the Bible on our chapter a day calendar and listens to our podcast every week...from another country! I know if my parents lived anywhere in the area they would be at the deep every Sunday! Because their grandson is there and because they have always believed in me and the things I have done 100%. Mom and Dad, thanks for the faith you have in me!

2. The burning desire that remains alive and well in my heart, even in the most difficult moments, that I know has been placed there by God! I was never promised that the task and vision for this new church was going to be easy...but I know it is what God has asked my to be part of and do in this time and this place!

Numbers...

2008-02-27T08:30:00.000-08:00

Most times if people want to tell you that numbers don't matter...it is usually because they are not hitting the ones they need to. I feel this pressure all the time, but as we talked this past Sunday, it is important to enjoy the journey and (my addition for this post) the numerical success along the way!

Here are a few numbers I am pretty happy with today...

949. Before this month we have never had five hundred hits on our website in a thirty day window! No matter what we did with marketing, what kind of updates or even information given out door to door, articles in the paper or ads on radio...we never had over 500 hits. Thirty days ago we launched a "chapter a day" reading program to get people in our community and friends and family connected somehow to our community reading the Bible together and we created an online forum where people could go to discuss what they have been reading and a podcast area where people could listen to the weekly teaching from anywhere in the world! It has been thirty days since we launched the reading program and we have had 949 hits to our website...which is double our best ever and almost triple what we usually have!

22. This Saturday we had 22 people representing the deep at the food truck! Seeing that many people interested in serving, being the hands and feet of Jesus and being a constructive presence in our community...WOW!

7. This weekend we had our first ever "Dedication Sunday". We dedicated children baptized some older kids and commissioned one adult...totalling 7! To think that we moved to West Michigan one year ago and have only been having weekly gatherings for not even three months, this was an incredible time to celebrate God's work in our lives!

3. Not only do we have a great staff team at the deep, but there have been a few guys plugged in at various levels who have God's hand and call on their lives! This is very exciting for me as I love it when ministry helps and results in the development of ministers...after all isn't that the point (Ephesians 4:11-13)?!?!

1. We have one gentleman who hangs out in the hall by our children's ministry each week "working out" & "listening in". This week, due to our Dedication Sunday, we had a family gathering and thus no children's ministry. Wally was showing some friends around after and this man found him, missing the kids presence that week, and gave him a check for the ministry! It is amazing to see how, even indirectly, our Kids Life ministry is making a difference...thanks Larry for investing in our Kids and letting them invest in you!

Perspective...

2008-02-08T09:35:00.000-08:00

It is interesting how a person's background impacts how they see things!

One of my best friends told me that his wife, after reading our updates for a while, said "wow the deep is doing so well". Her perspective, coming from a number of church planting experiences caused her to see what is going on as tremendous progress and success!

In talking with an individual from our group close to Christmas who had attended a church of over 1000 for the last number of years actually thought that we had far less people than we do! Being part of something HUGE caused this individual to see things in a diminished way! A few weeks later I was having a meal with a person who grew up in a tiny church that only ever had one staff member...their view was that we had way more people than we actually do!

I can get caught up in the perspective game as well. I grew up in a very small church but have been part of some large ministries as well! One thing I try to keep close tabs on however is how people's lives are changing by their participation in our community and how people are getting involved in the community and become the hands and feet of Jesus to those around them!

Sure we need people to make ends meet and must grow in order survive long term and impact our community in greater ways. Would it be better though to have 1000 people who gathered once a week for something we called "church", who seldom did much more than that or a couple hundred people who truly made a dent in this community in the name of Jesus? My competitiveness and ego like BIG but my spirit longs for something effective that truly counts!

The Bible...

2008-01-26T23:40:00.000-08:00

I heard a brand new statistic this week that says more than any other activity, spending more time reading the Bible is the best and most effective way for a person to grow spiritually.

This was encouraging as we have been planning to launch a new initiative this week (today) where we are asking everyone in the church to read one chapter in the Bible every day (we have a calendar and will be reading along together). I put it together this evening and the amazing thing is that from now until the first of March those who participate will read 6.5 books of the Bible together in a little more than one month!

We have also created an online forum where people, literally from around the world, can read along and interact with the Bible by logging in from any computer!

God, may you nourish us in ways beyond what we can imagine as we are faithful to feed on your word!

A Promise!

2008-01-26T23:03:00.000-08:00

I was at an ecumenical event recently where a number of people/churches were working together for a common goal. During the brief event I watched three conversations take place where instead of "working together", pastors were talking to people who did not attend their church about why their church was a great place to come check out!

I believe the deep is a great church to come check out and stay much like these other churches! I don't even mind when God calls people from other places in the kingdom to help with this new work! I know this kind of crap happens all the time!

No matter the cost, I promise that if/when we work along side one another my priorities will be God's Kingdom & our community, not pilfering people!

People always come and go...and may that be the case by the wooing and wind of the spirit...not my untimely decision to manipulate.

God's Power Or Our Preference?

2008-01-26T22:36:00.000-08:00

I have had a number of conversations lately with other pastors. One topic that comes up with more frequency than I feel comfortable with is how many people simply migrate around from one church to another for one of two reasons...

1. They think that some "other" church may suite their style a bit better than the dozen others they have attended!

2. They do not feel valued, followed up on, and chased down enough to feel that you have pursued them to the level they feel they deserve!

I fully understand and even believe that people should go to churches that make sense for them and ones that they fit with...but the idea that we as Christians approach church almost purely with the mindset of a consumer must crush God's heart! Mission must trump "what I want" for us to consider any endeavor "church"!

I have not heard many people complain to me about not being chased down but I have heard it consistently enough to believe that it is a significant issue. It seems to me that following the model of Jesus would have us all chasing down those who are lost...and if we have to constantly chase after each other in order to keep our feelings from being hurt then we won't have time to spend on the things that truly matter.

These things culminate in the reality that we as Christians can tend to be picky, selfish, demanding people! I am trying to imagine what it would look like if we all set aside our preferences in order to cater to the preferences of those who were in need and needed to know Jesus! I believe if we could actually and consistently do that we would be in awe at how satisfying and powerful our lives and the church could truly be!

Sickness, Babies & Bucks!

2008-01-10T10:46:00.000-08:00

I have been sick this week and each day has been similar. I wake up and feel like I am getting a little better and by the end of the day I revert to my childhood impulse of wanting to cut my nose off (I only had that impulse when I was sick just in case you wondered)! It was so bad last night I even took a friends "top secret/home remedy" advice and put vick's vapor rub on my feet ;-(

While this week has been nonstop busy for me, one real highlight was this morning when Jim Duer asked our staff team to meet and pray with a family who has custody of a seven month old baby! They were going to a hearing to see if the court was going to terminate the parental rights of this babies birth parents so that they could adopt this beautiful little boy that they have been looking after for most of his life! This kind of stuff has a special place in my heart as I was adopted! I am not sure if my birth parents were into any of the things this little babies parents are (drugs, jail, etc) but I do know that being part of the home I grew up in was a huge blessing! All through my life people, when finding out I am adopted, have asked, "Have you ever wanted to 'find' your 'real' parents"? That has always made me smile as I have always known my real parents! They are the people who I have always known, who have always been there for me, supported me and believed in me! Little baby Andrew my prayer for you is that you would be as blessed as I have been and get to have great parents!

If you even see people wonder out loud or grumble about putting money into church planting and hear them say something like, "there are so many existing churches that could really use that money"...push back on them for me! They obviously believe in church planting themselves (if they go to church) as all churches were planted at one time or another! Challenge them to add up everything they have (in terms of how much money it would cost to buy today)! Pews, chairs, sound equipment, etc! Then ask them how they would be doing if they had to buy even a portion of that all at once and still keep everything else going!!! Having just started a weekly gathering and buying even just the first wave of things we need...it is extremely expensive yet utterly necessary (would you go back to a church that had no place for you to sit)?

So what in the world do these things have to do with each other? Feeling sick, seeing the pain in the eyes of a couple who may loose a baby they have received as their own, the stress and expense of starting "weekly church". They are not worth the fight if there is not the daily walking with each other and with God that results in changed lives and a changed community! Thanks God for working in my life, for allowing me to see and help with your work in others & the wonderful ways you make it all utterly worth the while!

What's in a name?

2008-01-02T23:33:00.000-08:00

I have been thinking a great deal about the name of our church lately! I love "the deep" as a church name and the significance that is behind it on so many levels (you can read about this at our site). It is really fun to see the name recognition we are gaining in this community and to see the word getting out about our new christian community!

The "name" that I have really been thinking about though is our website (www.outofthedeep.com), which has been somewhat confusing in that many think the church name is "out of the deep". The reason for this name was, in part, because names like www.deep.com & www.thedeep.com were not available! As the domain search pushed forward the reason I settled on "out of the deep" was because it struck me how we all have those moments of realization that we don't have what it takes to navigate life. There are moments when our tanks are absolutely empty and in looking for internal substance we come up lacking! It is our desire to see others and to ourselves encounter God in such a transformational way that we are able to live out of His deep love!

We would love for you to join us in figuring what it means to live out of the deep...and together tap into a source and way of life that is so much better than anything we could ever experience on our own!

Pastors and drug addicts...

2008-01-01T07:57:00.000-08:00

Some recent happenings have caused me to notice a striking similarity between pastors and drug addicts. They both have an incredible ability to spin, manufacture & even fudge the numbers!

As a pastor in our culture numbers are worn as badges of success (and not just from the standpoint of vain ministers...it is what others ask about, track and seem to ultimately care about as well). How many people attend your gatherings, how much money you have to work with, the size of your budget and what type of facility you have are always the questions that our culture measures you by. As a result there is incredible pressure to avoid answering these question or to answer them in a way that shines the best possible light on them (I would like to say that church planting...when you have limited people/money and almost always no facility...helps eliminate this tendency, but that is not the case).

The more I interact with recovering substance abusers I notice that numbers are worn as badges for them as well! They become milestones of success that communicate how long, by the grace of God, they have been able to keep their addiction at bay! Even during a relapse, addicts seem to always cling to how long they "were clean" before falling back into their old pattern of living.

The thing that really struck me about this showed up during a recent crisis. A friend who was in a really tough spot and who has been consistently "falling off the wagon" was asked how long they were clean. The honest answer was probably something like a week or two, but the answer they gave was eight months! God checked the internal indignity I initially felt by promptly reminding me of the pressure I feel when asked "number questions" and I was able to both see and understand that whether the eight months were recently consecutive, a while back, or some other inventive construct of the mind, it was an important mark for the individual to cling to as a sign and source of hope (much like the pastor whose church is 100 but had 200 at a special event last year).

I guess the important conclusion for me was that the more I can simply be present and be the hands and feet of Jesus in real ways for real people...and as a pastor interact with those that many pastors are so insulated from that they would never see...the more my "number issues" become much less significant and the more God breaks my heart for this community! What does it matter if we only post good numbers but never see changed lives? I tend to place a high value on both! If the badges we wore were ones of well being that involved measurements like transformation and health as well as "the numbers" we'd all be in a much better place!

We'll always be asked number questions (pastors and addicts)! They are important questions to ask and track! They are just easier questions to succeed at answering when we know those asking truly love and value us regardless of how much the truth may miss the mark!

We love you SM!

From program to lifestyle...

2007-12-31T09:11:00.000-08:00

If you have talked to me about the deep or been around you will have heard about our belief in serving! I sent out an email that outlined "what we did" this past Sunday, when instead of gathering for a worship service we gathered to serve in our community.

As I get feedback from more and more people here are a few of the things that encourage me a great deal...

1. Numerous people and families have talked about how easy it was..."we just showed up, got instructions and served". Now there was tons of "behind the scenes" preparation that went into our experiences, but much of that had to do with the establishment of relationships and the logistics of preparing for a sizable group to go out...BUT the reality is that what people have been saying is absolutely true...IT IS EASY TO SERVE AND BE PRESENT!

2. Wally mentioned one of his experiences with a lady working at BP he bought a soft drink for...it made her month! I cannot think of an easier way to impact someone's attitude immediately!

3. Heather mentioned that a police officers talked about how a number of people give them lip service but few people ever actually do anything for them. Just bringing them bagels was a huge deal! Another one of our bagel drops resulted in the organization asking us for a poster they could put up to let their staff know about our church!

4. Since our time of serving I have spoken with Dan & Janet as well as Sandy about some of the people they visited at the nursing home! They all had very meaningful interactions with the people they visited and Sandy even mentioned how this was a great first step to the possibility of an ongoing relationship with the ladies they met!

We will certainly continue to program opportunities for people to serve, be present and impact the community...but things are even more powerful and transformational (for us and our community) when this type of behavior becomes part of our natural lifestyle as well as programing we participate in! Open yourself to the many ways you can impact people each week and be inspired by God's Word that tells us, "Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves! Do what it says (James 1:22)".

Thanks for living out the truth we have been learning!

Gifts & Presence!!!

2007-12-06T22:35:00.000-08:00

I spoke with a man who is quickly becoming a friend today! He told me about a house in the South Heights that the owner is looking to gift simply to get giving credit for it. While this gift was being considered by a housing ministry he is part of, it seemed to him in many ways that the location would be a better fit for what we are doing at the deep!

He called me after the board meeting tonight and told me that while the housing ministry has decided to accept the gift of the house they are interested in turning it over to us for use and perhaps eventually gifting it to us as well. During their conversation at the meeting, when my new friend mentioned us, a number of the people on this board knew us and about our ministry (I am so thankful that God is answering our prayer for greater partnerships and connectedness in this community).

I am amazed that God would trust us with a house and help us in such a big and practical way to infiltrate the community we want to reach. I am praying hard that this gift which allows us to have a greater presence in the community would directly result in new people experiencing the power and presence of God in their lives!!!

Being the church...

2007-12-05T14:05:00.000-08:00

Two things really stuck out to me on Sunday and I wanted to share...

1. Two families that had never met before started sharing after the Gathering and their conversation ended with them huddling up and praying together right in the middle of the hustle and bustle. After speaking with both families it became clear how meaningful the shared moment was. It was incredible to see strangers become fast friends and people slice through the commotion of life and connect with God!

2. I got an email from a mom on Tuesday that told a tale of how her son, who has not wanted to go to "children's church" for two months at another church, went to and loved our Kids Life ministry his first week here! The key dynamics were that this boy came with his dad the night before to help set-up and put some chairs out with Wally (our family pastor), so he was already comfortable with him...and of course Wally's personality didn't hurt either! It is amazing to see how serving together and the willingness of an adult to invest and believe in a child (and vice versa) can be so transformational!

Thanks God for showing up and doing what only you can!!!

Contradiction...

2007-11-29T22:59:00.000-08:00

A number of year ago, while facilitating a lead team meeting at a church, I had a revelation that wasn't really all that drastic, but one that has helped me have a much better understanding of who I am and how I operate.

**Revelation = I am a somewhat balanced person but it is not because I have found or live in the center in many areas of life. It is because I live and exist at the extremes in the areas of life that I spend much time in.**

If you have spent much time with me at all this will not seem like that big of a deal (although it should inspire a quick prayer for my family as "I" am not the easiest kind of person to live with forever). Here is why I am thinking about and sharing this today...

With the launch of our weekly gatherings this week I feel this internal battle raging between the thought of being big and being small! I love the relationships and depth that smaller more organic things have. I love the energy and impact that something big has. I have been part of large ministries that were fairly heartless, and while there was excitement and enough resources to continue for what seemed like forever, it was not what I wanted to give my life for. I have been part of smaller ministries that were amazing and had a depth and intimacy that I treasure to this day...but the lack of energy and sustainability, in the long run, caused something that I loved to die.

God, help the deep to be big so that we can make a real dent in this community for your Kingdom and help us to find a number of ways to be small and intimately connected to each other and to you!

God sighting at rake n' run...

2007-11-19T08:22:00.000-08:00

It is pretty obvious that raking some yards is a fun and easy way to get people serving others. It is also a cool way to let people know about a new church if you say something or leave info. Yesterday turned out to be much more than that...

1. One of our "raking teams" went to the house of a single mother. She had just pulled into the driveway with leaf bags and was planning to call someone to do the raking for her for $40 (which was certainly more necessary and could be put to better use in other ways). Why God lead that team to that house I do not know but it was a huge blessing for both parties!

2. Another "raking team" did all the leaves for an 86 year old lady whose husband passed away a couple years ago. She shared with us that she thought about raking but there was no physical way she would have been able to do it (and I can attest to that as it took our team of 8 over an hour to get it done and my hand is still sore the day after). She told us she was a missionary and that her husband had been a minister...it was so good to serve her!

3. One of the teams was raking at a house of an older lady when her children came out to ask how much they would owe. When the family realized what was happening the lady came out with tears in her eyes and told us that there was just no possible way she was going to be able to rake and so she prayed and asked God to help. God decided to show up in the form of "us" and it made a huge difference!

Thanks to everyone who served in any capacity and to God for using us in such simple ways to make such a big difference for people!

(One final note...while Christopher did little more than play in the leaves, spread leaves back out & explore, as a parent I love knowing that involving my two year old in things like this is help to instill the values of serving, helping out & giving back (actually being Jesus in practical ways to others) into the core of who he is becoming...and that is so important to me!)

Two cool stories...

2007-11-13T13:06:00.000-08:00

Sunday night I emailed three awesome stories from this past weekend at our preview gathering. Here are two more that were great as well...

1. As many of you know we are meeting in the Omni Fitness Club in Muskegon Heights and there was a guy who showed up around 9:10 a.m. this week. I struck up a conversation with him and let him know that while the club didn't officially open until 10 he was more than welcome to stick around for our gathering and workout afterwards. He sat through the entire service and during a conversation afterwards with one of our team members he had a sense that the circumstances of the morning were much more than just coincidence but rather part of God's pursuit of him!

2. Nathan's add on craigslist has been way more effective than we could have ever imaged at gathering interest. One of the musicians who responded was a 17 year old bass player named Adam. While he has never really attended a church before he came this week, sat through the entire gathering and came over for lunch and hung out with a group of us. I loved hearing what his reactions were as his eyes are so fresh to church and listening to him talk about he thought "we (including him) would really take off and grow through our launch" was incredible.

Seeing people who are disconnected from God and his church taking steps and making connections is what it is all about! Thanks God for helping us refocus and remember what really matters and truly counts!

Time Stamp...

2007-11-08T22:35:00.001-08:00

Many have asked about my sleeping habits after seeing that they received an email from me in the middle of the night (and if they were paying attention they may notice this not necessarily an uncommon occurrence). The truth of the matter is that it really has little to do with my sleeping habits and much more to do with my thinking habits. Right now for example I turned my computer back on after laying in bed for an hour and a half and finally realizing that it would be better to do something productive than continue laying in bed wide awake.

Sometimes it is because my mind is energized and excited with some new thought and sometimes it is because it is trying to think through an issue or solve a problem...no matter what, when my mind is in gear it is almost impossible for my body to shut down and go to sleep. It is so bad at times I can hop into bed exhausted and never actually sleep.

Don't get me wrong, this is not every night and it is not that I am a walking zombie most days due to lack of sleep. Some call it quirky and some call it eccentric but this wiring certainly has it's benefits as well as it's issues. It is because my mind engages like this that I research, study and teach in the way that I do. This makes me your most useful resource if you need to know about something I have fixated on. I think this is what makes me a good church planter as well. Through the turbulence I am able to hold on and engage.

Sure there are times (at night especially) when I wish that I could just let go of whatever it is, disengage and get on with other things! The truth is though, I think I go for rides and see things that most people would totally miss. I like taking those kind of rides and wish for more to join me on my adventures...

A Food Truck...Just What The Doctor Ordered!!!

2007-11-03T20:01:00.000-07:00

This morning ten of us connected with the deep met with a much larger team of people at an area thrift store (Hope's Outlet) to help unload and distribute food to needy people in our community. We also had small opportunities to interact with people waiting in the line and help them carry food to their cars.

As you think about these things in and of themselves; unloading, lifting, carrying, interacting with total strangers...they may sound like death to you, or at least work. For me this experience was like a deep breath of fresh air or a long drink of cold water.

In the midst of all the details we have been living with that are part of launching a weekly gathering it is easy to be consumed. We have thought and said all along that while we wanted to have a great weekly experience, that our church would be defined more by the ways we are present and interact with our community and the ways we embrace diversity. No matter how great or inspiring a church service may be what good is it if people leave and have nothing to eat or feed their children???

This morning was not just about people's hungry bellies but my soul as well! I never want to become a pastor or a church that only tells people about Jesus. Today was about being Jesus in one of the easiest and most important ways possible!

What gives me life?

2007-10-31T06:48:00.000-07:00

Especially when the pace of things increases and there is a great deal of physical, mental and emotional energy being burned there are some sources that keep me going and help me refuel...

1. My family! Even in moments of utter exhaustion watching my son or looking into the eyes of my wife are two things and people I would not trade for anything! Seeing them, being together and interacting with one another are all very life giving for me and while in the busiest of times when I may not be as present or engaged as I want to, this is what I need and desire the most!

2. Seeing people become followers of God! While my orientation has become significantly more "process" or "journey" based there is still an obvious shift in people when they move from following their own lead to allowing the spirit of God to assume directional control. Part of what is so life giving about this for me is seeing how free people are after this shift. I think that there is much less stress when a person understands the power of bringing God into the mix of their lives and knowing that his lead and promptings are so much better than any place we could get to on our own.

3. Seeing people get it! When I see a persons eyes light up, some new understanding comes, an illustration or story that helps a person "get it"...just seeing those moments when someone finally grasps some elusive truth and makes it part of their life. Being part of this process fills me up!

4. Seeing people who have spent considerable time on the bench get in the game and have success! This is one that I have been seeing a lot lately and I love it. When people who have been in churches or ministries but never really got involved, pitched in, were necessary or had the opportunity to lead. I have found that when this kind of person sees a need and has the opportunity they usually take it, and boy is it fun to watch a person step into something brand new for God and to see how he blesses them and brings fruit!

What bring life to you?