Friday, April 03, 2015

Sometimes I am not so sure this Friday is good.

I have had some dark moments on this appropriately dark day.

While I feel like I do a decent job of trying to relax, my “Type A-ness”, the stress of life, along with other poor choices have caused my blood pressure to become concerningly high…to the point where my doctor wants to take all kinds of action.

(Sorry but if you want to read this I am going to depart from my typical optimistic perspective and let you peek into a somewhat rare moment of struggle…if you don’t want to go there with me stop reading now!!!)

The number one thing that stresses me out in my life, by a significant margin, is seeing all the God sized dreams that are within reach of so many people who simply won’t reach.  Noticing ways that the world would be significantly better and yet being fully aware how many of us are too preoccupied with our own lives to participate in making it happen.  And knowing full well that this life threatening stress is always going to exist as long as I am a pastor.

And then I am sitting talking to my doctor, who is giving me all kinds of great advice…and the thought that is occurring to me is that I COULD do all the things you are asking me to do as well or better than any patient you have ever had…BUT I am really tired of being everyone else’s best disciple with far too few who are willing to bleed and die with me, for a much greater cause.  See I don’t mind being broken and spilled out…it is just the incredible loneliness.

And then, at the moment I think I can’t bare it anymore, I look up and see the only example I am to follow, and he is hanging there on a tree…for me.  
I am in.  I am with you.

It’s Friday.  But thank God that Sunday is coming!!!

1 comment:

Clay Braden said...

I feel ya Bro... Press on mighty warrior!